This story was weird. Could you imagine an old man being born? I could not. How strange. It was interesting though. In the beginning, I felt bad for the old Benjamin. When he was born, the doctor saw him as a tragedy. Today, wouldn't this be a medical miracle? The doctor was so furious that he never wanted to see Benjamin or his family again at the hospital. He thought they were making a mockery of him.
When his dad first saw him, he thought it was a joke. Well, wouldn't you? The imagery of the old man hanging out of the crib with a long beard was creepy. Benjamin's father was angry, but he was more worried about his reputation than he was about his son. I wonder how his mother felt? They never mention her in the story, and I just couldn't imagine how she was when she saw what she gave birth too. I think she might have fainted or maybe she would love him unconditionally. We will never know.
I find it funny how everyone in the story is in denial. Benjamin's father refuses to treat Benjamin as a man, even though he is one. Benjamin's father even goes to the store and buys him a child's suit. Benjamin looks ridiculous, but that is how it is since he is only a baby. Benjamin passed as his fathers brother, and they never corrected anyone about it. They were too worried about their reputation. I feel like this is a tragedy, because their son should be their pride and joy.
When he marries, people feel sorry for Benjamin's wife. Why would she marry such an old ugly man? Everyone talked about them, and it even said her father was unhappy about the situation. They thought Benjamin would not be able to even support her. He loved her for a long time, but he started to change and that changed his view and hers.
It is ironic, that Benjamin is so critical about his wife's aging since he was ridiculed his whole life. You would think he would be more sympathetic since he went through it. He feels like she is not pretty and that she has lost what he loved about her. People even say that they feel sorry for such a young man for marrying such an older women. This is exactly what they said about him. How do they not remember this?
Even as Benjamin grows younger, he is ridiculed. His wife insists that he stops, and his son warns him to turn right back around and start back the other way. His own son?!? My goodness, after all those years, you would think at least his son would understand.
Benjamin goes through life with a lost identity. He never finds a happy medium. He will never be normal, and abnormality was never excepted. He could never truly embrace who he was. It was even interesting that when he aged so did his maturity. When he was born old, he was wise. As he grew younger he was more immature.
What happened at the end of the story? He is just a baby, and that is how it is left. A pure innocent baby. Did he disappear? Did he become a fetus. I guess it is left up to our imagination. We will never truly know.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
meeting number 1!
Today was my first meeting with Suneun. She was nice and seemed a bit nervous. She could not speak English well, so we began slow. We exchanged names and numbers. I asked where she was from and learned she was from South Vietnam. She also informed me that she lived in Fort Worth with her three daughters- 20-22-15, if I understood correctly.
I had know idea how much English she could speak. It did not help that we are both shy natured. About twenty minutes into our conversation things began to look up for the both of us. She had a friend stop by with her, and he was a great help. It made her much more comfortable, and that made me feel more relaxed. He was a nice gentleman, and he spoke a little more English than she did. His presence opened her up more. We talked and joked, some of the jokes I did not catch though. I am a little hard of hearing, because I busted my ear drum a couple years ago. I did not realize how bad my hearing was until I was trying to catch every syllable she said to me.
I learned that we both have to be patient, and she knows that too. It can be hard, because we are both from two different worlds. She told me, that when she is at home, they speak nothing but Korean and that she even watches Korean soap operas. When I asked her what else she liked to watch she said that was all she watched. I knew right then that this was hard for her, since she is so use to her native language.
As we continued talking, she asked if she could meet some of my friends. I told her yes, that I would take her to where I work and she could meet them today. Out of curiousity, I asked why she was so interested in my friends, and she responed by telling me that she was having a hard time making friends here at TCU. She said everyone was friendly, but she could not make friends.
Everyone where I worked was wonderful. They all introduced themselves, and even asked Suneon where she was from and about her family. I could tell she really enjoyed it, even if she could partially understand them. I also plan to have her meet some of my other friends in the future. I also encouraged her not to be shy, and to tell people hi, or if she wanted she could do some of the activities we have around campus. Suneon and her friend seemed very interested in the concert that is coming to TCU. I told them all about it, and hopefully they will go. They seemed pretty interested, and I told them to let me know if they decided to go, and I would meet up with them there.
I think our first meeting went well. I think we both have alot of learning to do, but I think we will get through it just fine. I cannot wait to learn more about her home country and her lifestyle.
I had know idea how much English she could speak. It did not help that we are both shy natured. About twenty minutes into our conversation things began to look up for the both of us. She had a friend stop by with her, and he was a great help. It made her much more comfortable, and that made me feel more relaxed. He was a nice gentleman, and he spoke a little more English than she did. His presence opened her up more. We talked and joked, some of the jokes I did not catch though. I am a little hard of hearing, because I busted my ear drum a couple years ago. I did not realize how bad my hearing was until I was trying to catch every syllable she said to me.
I learned that we both have to be patient, and she knows that too. It can be hard, because we are both from two different worlds. She told me, that when she is at home, they speak nothing but Korean and that she even watches Korean soap operas. When I asked her what else she liked to watch she said that was all she watched. I knew right then that this was hard for her, since she is so use to her native language.
As we continued talking, she asked if she could meet some of my friends. I told her yes, that I would take her to where I work and she could meet them today. Out of curiousity, I asked why she was so interested in my friends, and she responed by telling me that she was having a hard time making friends here at TCU. She said everyone was friendly, but she could not make friends.
Everyone where I worked was wonderful. They all introduced themselves, and even asked Suneon where she was from and about her family. I could tell she really enjoyed it, even if she could partially understand them. I also plan to have her meet some of my other friends in the future. I also encouraged her not to be shy, and to tell people hi, or if she wanted she could do some of the activities we have around campus. Suneon and her friend seemed very interested in the concert that is coming to TCU. I told them all about it, and hopefully they will go. They seemed pretty interested, and I told them to let me know if they decided to go, and I would meet up with them there.
I think our first meeting went well. I think we both have alot of learning to do, but I think we will get through it just fine. I cannot wait to learn more about her home country and her lifestyle.
Monday, September 20, 2010
The Yellow Wallpaper
The descriptive words in the Yellow Wallpaper brought the story to life. It was almost as if the house itself was a character. The narrator felt that it was haunted and queer, but then she also thought it to be beautiful.
The narrator's husband brought her to this house to help her with her condition. He believed she had some kind of anxiety. As the story progresses, it only seems to get worse with her feeling of the wallpaper in her room. She ccontinually asks if they can go to another room, but her husband refuses and tells her it will only make her condition worse.
The narrator's husband has every last word. I can tell that this story was written by a feminist just by how she depicts the patriarchal society. It is almost as if the husband in the story is what is truly making his wife mad. She is under strict control. She cannot visit family or even writ in a journal. Her insanity increases as she is couped up in the room with yellow wallpaper.
She goes completely insane when she notices a woman in the wallpaper trying to get out. She thinks that her husband and sister-in-law have noticed the peculiar behavior, and she sees them as a potential threat in getting in the way of her freeing the woman in the paper.
One day, when her husband is not home she tears down the wallpaper, and tells Jennie she did it because she disliked the paper. Jennie understands and does not take the incident as a peculiar one. She does not even tell John.
However, when the narrator is alone she locks herself in the room and begins to tear the wallpaper to pieces. The more she tears, the more involved in the paper she becomes. She even contemplates jumping out of the window, but she is scared of all the crouching woman that are scurrying around outside. She has gone completely insane now. She thinks tons of woman have come out of the paper, and by the time her husband opens the door she has lost her identity. She does not even recognize him. She believes she was the woman stuck behind the paper, and she tells him how she will never be stuck again. The end of the story is left with John fainting and the narrator creeping over him.
What a strange story. The author portrays the woman character as one that is wanting liberation from her marriage, or just from John. She is continually put down and degraded by her so called condition that is only made worse by her husbands demands of bed rest, no family, and no writing. She is trapped by him and it escalates to her feeling as if she is the woman behind the wallpaper. This story depicts a time period of patriarchal society, and a rise of women liberation. It has an eerie and scary tone to it. I still have not decided if the narrator has actually killed herself in the end or if it was truly just the wallpaper she tore to pieces.
I will be interested to hear all the interpretations in class. This was my first time reading this story, and I do not know exactly how to take it quite yet. I did like it though. I found it to be an interesting perspective and story all together. It was creative and imaginative, and I always love stories with great detail.
The narrator's husband brought her to this house to help her with her condition. He believed she had some kind of anxiety. As the story progresses, it only seems to get worse with her feeling of the wallpaper in her room. She ccontinually asks if they can go to another room, but her husband refuses and tells her it will only make her condition worse.
The narrator's husband has every last word. I can tell that this story was written by a feminist just by how she depicts the patriarchal society. It is almost as if the husband in the story is what is truly making his wife mad. She is under strict control. She cannot visit family or even writ in a journal. Her insanity increases as she is couped up in the room with yellow wallpaper.
She goes completely insane when she notices a woman in the wallpaper trying to get out. She thinks that her husband and sister-in-law have noticed the peculiar behavior, and she sees them as a potential threat in getting in the way of her freeing the woman in the paper.
One day, when her husband is not home she tears down the wallpaper, and tells Jennie she did it because she disliked the paper. Jennie understands and does not take the incident as a peculiar one. She does not even tell John.
However, when the narrator is alone she locks herself in the room and begins to tear the wallpaper to pieces. The more she tears, the more involved in the paper she becomes. She even contemplates jumping out of the window, but she is scared of all the crouching woman that are scurrying around outside. She has gone completely insane now. She thinks tons of woman have come out of the paper, and by the time her husband opens the door she has lost her identity. She does not even recognize him. She believes she was the woman stuck behind the paper, and she tells him how she will never be stuck again. The end of the story is left with John fainting and the narrator creeping over him.
What a strange story. The author portrays the woman character as one that is wanting liberation from her marriage, or just from John. She is continually put down and degraded by her so called condition that is only made worse by her husbands demands of bed rest, no family, and no writing. She is trapped by him and it escalates to her feeling as if she is the woman behind the wallpaper. This story depicts a time period of patriarchal society, and a rise of women liberation. It has an eerie and scary tone to it. I still have not decided if the narrator has actually killed herself in the end or if it was truly just the wallpaper she tore to pieces.
I will be interested to hear all the interpretations in class. This was my first time reading this story, and I do not know exactly how to take it quite yet. I did like it though. I found it to be an interesting perspective and story all together. It was creative and imaginative, and I always love stories with great detail.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Araby
I was sitting at work while reading Araby, early in the morning on Saturday. My eyes were weary, and the beginning of the story seemed unexciting. However, this technique did build up my expectation of adventure or wonder soon to come in the midst of the story.
the boy seemed interest in the house and its surroundings. He was curious about the books he read, and hew was even more fascinated by the girl net door. His innocence was exposed by the way he watched for her everyday just so he could walk to school behind her. I could relate to his inability to speak. I have had my fair share of situations, in which, I wanted to say so much more but refrained in hopes that I would be spoken to first. I began to feel his anxious heart awaiting the perfect moment to say something anything.
finally, when the girl turned and spoke to him I could feel his stumbling delight. This was his moment of opportunity. As she spoke to him, he got confused. I understand his confusion, because sometimes when I get excited my mind also runs away with that pleasure. he gets a grasp and filters what has been said. She had asked him if he was going to Araby, the upcoming bazaar. she was excited about it and wished she could go too. He conjures up the ability to ask why she cannot go to the bazaar, and finds out that she has a retreat coming up during the bazaar. His courage soars, as he recommend him to go to the event. He tells her if he goes he will bring something back for her. In his mind, he is thinking this is the perfect way to confess his deep affection. If he goes to Araby and brings her something back, she will be without a doubt happy.
As the next few days' progress, Araby is all he can think about. He wants to get her something special, and it is really the only reason he is going. He gets permission from his uncle and must wait for him to return home so he can go with money fro transportation and for a little spending. However, his uncle is late and has forgotten about the boys desires. i can fell the hope of the young boy drifting ever so softly away with each minute he waits.
When the uncle arrives home, it is quite late, but the boy still wishes to depart. His uncle gives him a small amount of money and the boy scuttles off on his adventure. The florin the boy gets is not very much, but the boy is naive at this point. He just wants to continue and hopefully he finds her a gift. The readier is now confronted with the frustration of living in this time period.
When the boy arrives, the bazaar is closing. At this point, I knew the happy ending would be lost. We have all reached that point of disappointment, but I was rooting for this young man. I wanted him to get the girl and live happily ever after.
This story was written in the midst of WWI, and the author (Joyce) captures the feeling of hope being distraught. he captures the feeling of being lost, wanting adventure, and wanting more. This time period was one that hit modernism with an iron fist. Reading this passage I feel the sense of despair. This time period had a grave effect on the people in the world. Their desires, dreams, and faith were challenged with every waking moment. Modernism realized this and exploited it. it brought people to the face of harsh reality. Just as the boy was naive, he was awakened by his journey. I am sad that he had to learn in such a way that is, to me, almost inhumane. He had no one to turn too. He stood alone in the world and my heart aches knowing that he lost his hope.
the boy seemed interest in the house and its surroundings. He was curious about the books he read, and hew was even more fascinated by the girl net door. His innocence was exposed by the way he watched for her everyday just so he could walk to school behind her. I could relate to his inability to speak. I have had my fair share of situations, in which, I wanted to say so much more but refrained in hopes that I would be spoken to first. I began to feel his anxious heart awaiting the perfect moment to say something anything.
finally, when the girl turned and spoke to him I could feel his stumbling delight. This was his moment of opportunity. As she spoke to him, he got confused. I understand his confusion, because sometimes when I get excited my mind also runs away with that pleasure. he gets a grasp and filters what has been said. She had asked him if he was going to Araby, the upcoming bazaar. she was excited about it and wished she could go too. He conjures up the ability to ask why she cannot go to the bazaar, and finds out that she has a retreat coming up during the bazaar. His courage soars, as he recommend him to go to the event. He tells her if he goes he will bring something back for her. In his mind, he is thinking this is the perfect way to confess his deep affection. If he goes to Araby and brings her something back, she will be without a doubt happy.
As the next few days' progress, Araby is all he can think about. He wants to get her something special, and it is really the only reason he is going. He gets permission from his uncle and must wait for him to return home so he can go with money fro transportation and for a little spending. However, his uncle is late and has forgotten about the boys desires. i can fell the hope of the young boy drifting ever so softly away with each minute he waits.
When the uncle arrives home, it is quite late, but the boy still wishes to depart. His uncle gives him a small amount of money and the boy scuttles off on his adventure. The florin the boy gets is not very much, but the boy is naive at this point. He just wants to continue and hopefully he finds her a gift. The readier is now confronted with the frustration of living in this time period.
When the boy arrives, the bazaar is closing. At this point, I knew the happy ending would be lost. We have all reached that point of disappointment, but I was rooting for this young man. I wanted him to get the girl and live happily ever after.
This story was written in the midst of WWI, and the author (Joyce) captures the feeling of hope being distraught. he captures the feeling of being lost, wanting adventure, and wanting more. This time period was one that hit modernism with an iron fist. Reading this passage I feel the sense of despair. This time period had a grave effect on the people in the world. Their desires, dreams, and faith were challenged with every waking moment. Modernism realized this and exploited it. it brought people to the face of harsh reality. Just as the boy was naive, he was awakened by his journey. I am sad that he had to learn in such a way that is, to me, almost inhumane. He had no one to turn too. He stood alone in the world and my heart aches knowing that he lost his hope.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
The Love Song of J. alfred Prufrock (1915)
The first line brings the reader directly into the setting with the narrator, “Let us go then, you and I.” I believe that this is a technique that the narrator uses to pull the reader into the mind of the character. It works too. As I began to read, I became more aware of my surroundings. I realized that I was alone or by myself in my room, just like Prufrock was in solitary gloom. I felt sorry for Prufrock. It is sad and a waste to dwell on this lady that he will never talk too. The phrase that keeps coming to my mind is seize the day!
Prufrock’s indecisiveness keeps him from proclaiming love to the lady whose love he seeks. In the next stanza, the reader receives images of a dull autumn in which Prufrock makes “a sudden leap” which I can assume is his attempt to speak to his lady love. However, in the next two lines, “and seeing that it was a soft October night, Curled once about the house, and fell asleep,” I get the impression that once again he has hesitated due to his fear of rejection.
The next stanza, the phrase “There will be time,” represents his hesitation in talking to the lady he loves. Prufrock does not dare disturb the universe, meaning that he has never been one to take a chance and will not do so now. He refers to his social circle and how they have never seen him amount to anything more than a lonely man.
He thinks about what he might say if the right time presents itself, but he gives up as soon as he starts. He excuses his indecisiveness by rationalizing that even if he had presented the lady with his words of affection, she would have turned those words down.
This poem is very sad to me. I could not imagine the regret he will die with by never speaking to this lady he cares for so much. I look back on my life and remember all the chances I took, and I realize that no matter what the outcome a new door of opportunity opened even with rejection. Taking a chance has helped me grow as a person. I also look back and reminisce on what could have been if I would have said that or done this. I feel sorry for the man, because he has never learned what it is like to go for what he wants or believes is right.
Prufrock constantly refers to Michelangelo. I see this as a comparison. Michelangelo is everything Prufrock is not. Michelangelo has a flow of creativity and energy; whereas, Prufrock is lifeless and destitute. I understand his comparison; we all do it. We compare ourselves to famous actors/actresses, and professional athletes. However, with Prufrock, this comparison is an attempt by him to feel sorry for himself. He has no self-esteem whatsoever. He has no confidence and no life. It is hard to relate to such a character, because he does not even like himself. I think about my life and I can be a solitary person also, but I could never be that confined. As human beings, I belief we crave social experiences. I think about depression and other issues that come along with feelings of weariness, regret, embarrassment, longing, and awareness of mortality. I feel sorrow because that is not living.
Near the end of Prufrock’s “love song” there is a reference to Hamlet, a hero who hesitated but eventually acted decisively. Prufrock uses the references towards Hamlet to compare himself, once again, by referring to a character that is his complete opposite. Prufrock does not see himself as confident or heroic.
He, eventually, comes to terms with his solitary future. He will grow old alone, and will die alone. He will be dignified in his solitary confinement of old age and as a passionless old man, because he rationalizes that he chose to be alone and that is how he wants it to end. However, by the tone of the poem I see him as a man that is yearning to be understood and feel affection.
Affection is a part of human nature, as is fear of rejection. As children we need love, care, and friendship. As we get older we still need those feelings of affection, but we fear that those we love will not love us back. We fear that love only lasts as long as the word itself takes to leave the mouth. We understand that our hearts can break if we put them out there, but if we do not try and love we will never receive love in return. It is sad that rejection occurs, but without rejection we would never learn what true love is from lust.
This is a modern poem because Prufrock illustrates disillusionment and disenchanted desires. He captures the nature of life as dull and nonliving. He portrays the essence of pathetic and unmotivated desires for affection.
Prufrock’s indecisiveness keeps him from proclaiming love to the lady whose love he seeks. In the next stanza, the reader receives images of a dull autumn in which Prufrock makes “a sudden leap” which I can assume is his attempt to speak to his lady love. However, in the next two lines, “and seeing that it was a soft October night, Curled once about the house, and fell asleep,” I get the impression that once again he has hesitated due to his fear of rejection.
The next stanza, the phrase “There will be time,” represents his hesitation in talking to the lady he loves. Prufrock does not dare disturb the universe, meaning that he has never been one to take a chance and will not do so now. He refers to his social circle and how they have never seen him amount to anything more than a lonely man.
He thinks about what he might say if the right time presents itself, but he gives up as soon as he starts. He excuses his indecisiveness by rationalizing that even if he had presented the lady with his words of affection, she would have turned those words down.
This poem is very sad to me. I could not imagine the regret he will die with by never speaking to this lady he cares for so much. I look back on my life and remember all the chances I took, and I realize that no matter what the outcome a new door of opportunity opened even with rejection. Taking a chance has helped me grow as a person. I also look back and reminisce on what could have been if I would have said that or done this. I feel sorry for the man, because he has never learned what it is like to go for what he wants or believes is right.
Prufrock constantly refers to Michelangelo. I see this as a comparison. Michelangelo is everything Prufrock is not. Michelangelo has a flow of creativity and energy; whereas, Prufrock is lifeless and destitute. I understand his comparison; we all do it. We compare ourselves to famous actors/actresses, and professional athletes. However, with Prufrock, this comparison is an attempt by him to feel sorry for himself. He has no self-esteem whatsoever. He has no confidence and no life. It is hard to relate to such a character, because he does not even like himself. I think about my life and I can be a solitary person also, but I could never be that confined. As human beings, I belief we crave social experiences. I think about depression and other issues that come along with feelings of weariness, regret, embarrassment, longing, and awareness of mortality. I feel sorrow because that is not living.
Near the end of Prufrock’s “love song” there is a reference to Hamlet, a hero who hesitated but eventually acted decisively. Prufrock uses the references towards Hamlet to compare himself, once again, by referring to a character that is his complete opposite. Prufrock does not see himself as confident or heroic.
He, eventually, comes to terms with his solitary future. He will grow old alone, and will die alone. He will be dignified in his solitary confinement of old age and as a passionless old man, because he rationalizes that he chose to be alone and that is how he wants it to end. However, by the tone of the poem I see him as a man that is yearning to be understood and feel affection.
Affection is a part of human nature, as is fear of rejection. As children we need love, care, and friendship. As we get older we still need those feelings of affection, but we fear that those we love will not love us back. We fear that love only lasts as long as the word itself takes to leave the mouth. We understand that our hearts can break if we put them out there, but if we do not try and love we will never receive love in return. It is sad that rejection occurs, but without rejection we would never learn what true love is from lust.
This is a modern poem because Prufrock illustrates disillusionment and disenchanted desires. He captures the nature of life as dull and nonliving. He portrays the essence of pathetic and unmotivated desires for affection.
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